Home » News » Ditch the Cheesy Lines: The Art of Subtle Flirting, Revealed by Experts
3 min read

Ever felt that pick-up lines are a bit too cheesy for genuine connections? You’re not alone. Many people crave authenticity, not canned one-liners, when seeking romance. To uncover the essence of subtle flirting, we turned to relationship expert Nicole Moore and Connell Barrett, author of “Dating Sucks But You Don’t” for their insights.

Nicole Moore breaks it down simply: flirting is about appreciation and fun, not just a romantic agenda. It’s noticing what’s great about someone and sharing it in a playful manner. Think of it as expressing admiration rather than full-on flirting.

Connell Barrett echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the importance of keeping things light and playful, especially in the early stages. “You want to avoid being overly sexual or just friendly,” Barrett advises. “It’s about striking that delicate balance that hints at your romantic interest.”

How do you flirt without going over the top? 

Moore suggests shifting your perspective on flirting. “Consider it an act of appreciation,” she says. “Focus on what you genuinely like about someone and compliment them on it, without overstepping into overt flirtation.”

Barrett recommends a more indirect approach to convey interest. He believes flirting should be a creative expression of your personality, allowing your crush to gradually uncover your feelings. The goal? Show, don’t tell, that you’re into them. It’s all about letting your authentic self shine, minus the overused pick-up lines.

How to flirt Without pick up lines

  • Power Compliments: Forget physical appearance compliments. Nicole Moore suggests focusing on attributes like their laughter, dance moves, or unique fashion sense. This approach celebrates their inner beauty and unique personality.
  • Childhood Games: Barrett recommends playful activities like a staring contest. It’s not just fun but, according to research, deep eye contact can actually increase romantic attraction. It’s a simple, enjoyable way to establish a deeper connection.
  • The “7” Eye Pattern: To subtly signal interest, Barrett advises using a specific eye pattern: moving your gaze from one eye to the other, then to their lips, and back. This technique can amplify romantic feelings, creating a contagious emotional connection.
  • Playful Teasing: Light teasing about harmless topics can dial up the romantic vibes, says Barrett. Just keep it friendly and superficial to avoid any discomfort.
  • Sharing Secrets: Revealing a personal secret can create a sense of intimacy and trust. Share something unique about yourself to deepen the connection.
  • Nicknames and Texting: Giving them a playful nickname, especially in texts, can be a sign of affection and familiarity. Moore suggests using nicknames based on inside jokes to keep things light and fun.
  • TGIF Texts: For a playful message, Barrett recommends a cheeky “TGIF” text (This Guy/Girl Is Fire). Don’t forget the emojis to maintain the playful tone.
  • Physical Expressiveness: While being mindful of their comfort, light touches like high-fives can show your interest. Reading their reactions is crucial to ensure they’re comfortable with the level of physical interaction.
  • Witty Banter: Engage in clever verbal sparring. Whether it’s puns, dad jokes, or witty back-and-forth, playful banter can be incredibly attractive.
  • Nerding Out: Don’t shy away from intellectual discussions. Barrett shares that discussing grammar quirks made a great connection on his first date with his partner. It’s okay to geek out about your passions – it might just be the thing that draws them to you.

In the end, flirting is about being true to yourself and finding enjoyable ways to express your interest. Ditch the scripted lines and let your genuine, playful personality shine through.

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Last updated March, 2024

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