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Erika Ettin, the brain behind A Little Nudge, has dished out advice to thousands of folks looking for love. She chatted with Insider, and even though she’s not a fan of bailing on dates, she says there are a couple of major warning signs that scream “run for the hills!”

Before you even think about what to wear, Ettin suggests shooting a text to your date and get a little chat going. This is your chance to sneak a peek into their personality and what they’re really after. And hey, why not dive into the deep stuff? Talking about your core values can really show if you’re on the same page. Kids, religion – the biggies. If they don’t vibe with your non-negotiables, better to know now than later, right?

And, a little tip from the dating guru – if they’re spilling their life story or can’t stop bringing up sex in the text convo, you might wanna rethink that date. Ettin shared a story about a client who had a Hinge match a little too eager to talk about his failed marriage and how they weren’t a good match in bed – all while throwing compliments her way. Red flags? Absolutely.

Bad-mouthing exes is also a big no-no. If they’re trashing their ex before you’ve even met, it’s a pretty big sign they might not be over it, they’re holding onto some bitterness, or maybe, they’re not big on taking responsibility when things go south.

Even though it might feel a bit rude to cancel last minute, Ettin believes these are total dealbreakers, and you’re better off calling it off before it even starts. No date is worth a nightmare!

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