Home » News » Rekindling with Your Ex: When It’s Actually a Good Idea
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While it’s often said that an ex is an ex for a reason, sometimes the breakup factors can be resolved. Maybe the timing was wrong, personal growth was needed, or a fresh perspective on the relationship was required. But if you find yourself missing your ex, it’s worth pondering whether reuniting could work. Experts weigh in on when getting back with an ex might be a good decision.

5 Situations Where Reuniting with Your Ex Makes Sense:

  • Timing Issues: It’s a cliché, but timing really can impact a relationship. Perhaps one person needed to focus on personal growth, career changes, or experience other relationships before being ready for commitment. Dating coach Neely Steinberg shares a story of a friend who reconnected with an ex after he returned, more prepared and committed, leading to marriage and children. However, Steinberg warns that enough time must pass for this change to be genuine.
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  • Emotional Distractions at First Meeting: If you met while still involved with someone else or just coming out of a relationship, it’s possible you weren’t emotionally available at the time. Dating coach Laurel House points out that you may have thought you were ready, but still emotionally connected to an unhealthy ex. In such cases, giving the relationship a fresh start once you’re truly ready could be worth it.
  • Gaining New Insights Post-Breakup: Sometimes, it’s only after a breakup and dating new people that you realize the true value of what you had with your ex. Dating coach Neely Steinberg notes that stepping away from the relationship can provide a more objective view. If you’ve dated others and had revelations about your previous relationship, reconnecting with your ex could be a positive step.
  • Reevaluating What Matters: Understanding the difference between wants and needs in a relationship is crucial. According to dating coach Laurel House, you might have initially been attracted to superficial qualities like looks or wealth. But over time, you may realize that emotional and financial support, nurturing, and understanding are what truly matter. If you now see that your ex’s unique traits aren’t dealbreakers but simply differences, and they genuinely made you happy without any major issues, it might be worth giving the relationship another shot.
  • Revisiting a Relationship When Timelines Didn’t Align: Life doesn’t always follow a strict plan, especially in relationships. Dating coach Laurel House points out that sometimes one partner may have a set timeline for milestones like engagement, marriage, and children, but the other might not be ready to move at the same pace. If this caused a breakup and you’ve since realized that your ex might have been ‘The One,’ it might be worth reconsidering the relationship. Reflect on whether you both ultimately want the same things and if you can start over with a fresh perspective.

If you’re thinking about giving your relationship another try, it’s essential to address any trust issues that may have arisen from the breakup. House warns that leaving a partner can lead to problems like emotional unavailability or indifference, which need to be resolved before the relationship can be rebuilt.

Having an open and honest conversation about what went wrong initially, why the breakup happened, and how you plan to address these issues moving forward is crucial. Steinberg advises that if, after time apart and reflection, you still believe this person is right for you, a second attempt could be worthwhile. Be prepared to confront past issues with openness, honesty, and compassion to rebuild your relationship on a healthier foundation.

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Last updated March, 2024

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