Ever wonder why finding happiness in dating seems so elusive? Well, it might be simpler than you think. Let’s dive into why selflessness, not selfishness, is your ticket to a happy dating life.
First off, many enter the dating scene with a laundry list of personal demands but lack the basic relationship skills for a successful partnership. It’s like going shopping with no intention to buy. We create stories about what we want – marriage, kids, a house in the suburbs – without checking if our partner is on the same page. Egos and self-centered behavior often crash the party, ruining what could have been a great relationship.
It’s common to meet someone amazing and then fumble because we don’t understand or appreciate them enough. We expect them to accept us with all our flaws, but when they don’t, things fall apart. We often end up playing the blame game, pointing fingers when things go south.
But here’s a story that flips the script. Take Tyler, a colleague of mine. Not big on physical affection, he knows his wife loves holding hands. So, whenever they’re out, he makes sure to hold her hand. It’s not his thing, but he does it because it makes her happy. This is what love is about – listening to your partner’s needs and fulfilling them. It’s about growth and compromise.
We’re not complicated creatures. We just want our emotional needs met, much like how we cater to children, but on an adult level. The key is to focus on what makes your partner happy and do it with joy. You might just find, like Tyler, that it brings you happiness too.
So, if you’re in a relationship or getting close to someone, ask yourself: “What can I do to make this work?” You’ve worked hard to find someone special, so why not put in the effort to keep them? Remember, most relationships fail because both parties didn’t meet each other’s needs. It’s a two-way street. If you want magical, lasting love, start by being the partner who listens, understands, and acts selflessly. Your dating happiness might just be one selfless act away.