Home » News » How to Spot a "Roacher" in Your Love Life
3 min read

So, have you ever heard of “roaching”? It’s this kinda sneaky situation where someone you’re seeing is also seeing a bunch of other people, but they’re not exactly up front about it. It’s not really cheating, but it’s definitely keeping things on the down-low.

Figuring out if you’re dealing with a roacher can be pretty tricky, but there are some signs that you can look out for:

  • They’re Super Secretive: If they’re being all mysterious and not really sharing much about their life, especially when it comes to other people they might be seeing, that’s a red flag.
  • Commitment? What Commitment?: They seem to dance around any kind of serious talk about where your relationship is going. You’re left feeling kinda stuck and unsure about everything.
  • Where’d You Go?: They might disappear for a while and then pop back up like nothing happened, usually with some kind of weak excuse.
  • Plan B: They might change plans last minute or cancel on you without giving you a good reason why.
  • Mixed Messages: One minute you’re feeling great and the next you’re totally confused about what’s going on.

Being on the receiving end of roaching can really mess with your head, make you doubt yourself, and leave you feeling betrayed.

But hey, it’s not your fault if you’re being roached. It says more about the other person than it does about you. And there are usually a few reasons why someone might be pulling this move:

  • Scared of Getting Close: Some people are just really scared of opening up and getting close to someone. They might see having a bunch of relationships at once as a way to keep things casual and protect themselves from getting hurt. If this is you, maybe try taking things slow in relationships and learning how to be okay with being vulnerable.
  • Looking for a Thrill: For others, it’s all about the excitement of having lots of different romantic options. They might find being with just one person kinda boring. If adventure is what you’re after, maybe look into ethical non-monogamy, where everyone is on the same page and okay with the situation. Or, try finding new and exciting things to do with your partner.
  • Needing a Confidence Boost: And then there are those who might be dealing with low self-esteem and use relationships to feel better about themselves. For these folks, it might be time to work on building up your self-confidence and learning how to find validation from within.

In the end, understanding why someone might be roaching, and knowing what to look out for, can help you build healthier, happier relationships that are all about trust, communication, and feeling good about where you stand. Here’s to keeping it real and finding the love that you deserve!