Navigating the world of online dating can be tricky, but with insights from renowned biological anthropologist Dr. Helen Fisher, finding love in the digital age just got a bit easier. On CNN’s Chasing Life podcast, Fisher, who’s also a senior research fellow at the Kinsey Institute, delves into the nature of love and attraction, backed by her extensive research in neuroscience.
Love, she explains, is deeply rooted in our brains, residing alongside basic survival functions like hunger and thirst. This primal drive is essential not just for personal fulfillment but for the continuation of our species. Fisher’s work, including functional magnetic resonance imaging studies, has identified four key brain systems—dopamine, serotonin, estrogen, and testosterone—that influence our dating behaviors and preferences.
Based on these findings, she developed the Fisher Temperament Inventory, which sorts people into categories like explorers, builders, negotiators, and directors, helping them understand who they might be most compatible with. But can dating app algorithms truly predict attraction and compatibility? Fisher believes that while complex, certain patterns in personality, nature, and culture can guide us toward more suitable matches.
To improve your chances of finding love online, Fisher offers these expert tips:
- Understand the App’s Role: Dating apps are really “introducing” apps. They’re a starting point for meeting someone, not a dating solution in themselves. It’s up to you to take it from there, to meet and really get to know the person.
- Limit Your Choices: Avoid binge-swiping. The human brain can handle only about five to nine choices before it gets overwhelmed. After meeting up to nine people, take a break and reflect on your experiences.
- Give People a Chance: Spend time getting to know at least one of the people you’ve met. The more you learn about someone, the more you might like them, and vice versa.
- Focus on the Positives: Our brains tend to latch onto negative details. When meeting someone new, try to think of reasons to say “yes” rather than focusing on minor negatives.
- Embrace Slow Love: Take your time in the dating process. Fisher notes that a longer courtship period often leads to more enduring relationships. Use this time to learn about yourself and what you really want in a partner.
Whether you’re swiping for a casual date or searching for a life partner, these insights from a love expert can help steer your digital dating journey in a more fulfilling direction. Remember, the path to love may be complex, but understanding the science behind it can make all the difference.
