Home » News » Set Yourself Up for Love in January: 10 Expert Tips to Start the Year Right
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Ready to find love this year? Don’t just wait for it to happen – take proactive steps to increase your chances of finding a meaningful connection. Here are expert recommendations for what to do in January to set the stage for romance. And who knows, you might end up falling in love with yourself along the way too!

Reflect with Your Future Self

Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., an expert in romantic relationships, suggests imagining a conversation with your 100-year-old self to gain perspective. Ask yourself why you want a partner and what qualities will matter to you in the long run. This exercise can help shift your focus from superficial attractions to deeper, more meaningful traits like kindness, trust, and effective communication.

Define Your Non-Negotiables

Shan Boodram, Bumble’s sex & relationships expert, advises reevaluating your dating intentions and what you’re truly looking for in a partner. Rachel DeAlto, a relationship and communication expert at The League, suggests picking four non-negotiable personality traits that a potential partner must have, steering clear of superficial qualities. Attributes like integrity, emotional intelligence, and kindness should be on this list. Clearly defining what you’re looking for can make it easier to recognize when you meet someone who fits these criteria.

Focus on How You Want to Feel

Shan Boodram advises concentrating on the feelings you want to experience in a relationship, rather than specific characteristics of your partner. Instead of fixating on their job or height, think about wanting to feel safe, respected, and valued. This approach opens up possibilities for love that might have been overlooked due to a focus on physical attributes.

The Power of Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is a key step in the search for love. It’s a chance to understand what you’ve learned from past relationships and recognize what you bring to the table. Ask yourself what makes you a good partner, what you love about your life currently, and what kind of life you want to build with someone. Reflecting on these aspects can boost self-love and confidence.

Optimize Your Dating Profile

With dating apps being a common way for couples to meet, the start of the year, especially the first Sunday of January, known as “Dating Sunday,” is the perfect time to update your profile. This period sees a surge in new profiles and user activity. Experts suggest making your profile stand out by embracing your uniqueness. Be specific and let your quirks shine through. The aim should be to attract fewer but more compatible matches, which can save time and lead to more meaningful connections. By showcasing your true self, your matches are likely to align more closely with what you’re looking for.

Expand Your Dating Horizons Beyond Your Type

If you find yourself stuck dating the same type of people without success, it’s time to rethink your strategy. Relationship expert Rachel DeAlto suggests being open to someone who might not be your usual physical type but meets your non-negotiable criteria. This openness can lead you to a whole new world of potential partners. Additionally, DeAlto advises giving second dates a chance, even if there wasn’t an instant spark. Approach first dates with the mindset of getting to know the person more, as attraction can grow over time.

Express Your Desire for a Relationship

The first step in achieving what you want is to openly acknowledge it. Don’t hesitate to state your desire for a relationship, even in your dating profile. Amy Nobile, a dating coach, suggests adding phrases like “Looking for a partner who feels like home” to your profile to show you’re serious about finding a meaningful connection. This aligns with findings from a Bumble survey where 73% of women respondents emphasized the importance of honesty about intentions.

Create Space in Your Life for Love

Manifesting a relationship goes beyond just speaking your desires. Consider how you can physically and energetically make space for a partner in your life. For instance, if you’re constantly on your phone while walking, try being more present and open to meeting someone. Join new social groups or activities that increase your chances of meeting new people. On a spiritual level, make room in your life for someone else, like sleeping on one side of the bed or decluttering your living space to make it welcoming for a potential partner.

Prepare for a Relationship

Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. emphasizes the importance of being ‘relationship ready.’ This means not only being open and vulnerable but also being strategic. Educate yourself by reading books, watching videos, and listening to podcasts on relationships. Brush up on key skills like communication, listening, and understanding different perspectives. It’s about following your heart, but also equipping yourself with the knowledge and skills for a successful relationship.

Embrace Life with Enthusiasm

Amy Nobile suggests infusing joy into your everyday life and “flirting” with life itself. Something as simple as smiling at strangers or striking up a conversation in line can significantly boost your happiness and raise your energy. According to Nobile, this positive energy is the ‘frequency of love.’ Attract love by vibrating love and creating a life that naturally draws the right person to you. It’s about focusing on enriching your own life, which in turn makes you more attractive to potential partners.

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Last updated March, 2024

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